Every day and Every Way, I am better and better.
As I edit my previous posts, more emotional baggage is revealed.
As I process them, growth feels my heart with more and more compassion.
More Love for myself and others rises. All respect to those who have been through
And Victor-ed through the muddy waters. May All beings Emerge like the lotus, with the beautiful and pure open heart.
Holding space for myself is becoming more graceful. The since of humor is growing from this state of being.
A huge key to accessing this ability with grace.
There are no enemy's in life, other than the mind clouded in the past.
Clearing the lens, seeing the light as feeling the energy is short of complete.
Be the Energy~
Be Love
All true nature is Love!
Namaste
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
In "Awe" of day 29's Miracles
This post begins with reflections from yesterdays self-care Case Study 7.29.12 and what lead to the amazing day. (7.28.12, breakdown to breakthrough) Rough Draft again :)
Briefly sharing this information as to get out of my thought loop, so bare withe me.
Yesterday was the first day in which I removed the bandage for nearly the entire day.
All the other days it was only removed for an hour before swelling would occur, unless there was ice on it.
I was recommended by my nurse to keep this procedure while the body trauma could heal.
There was ice on the leg for an hour "tops" from Noon til Ten pm.(10hrs. no swelling)
Before sleeping I began muscle testing whether or not to wrap before sleeping all night. This was
not recommended either, "Way to early in recovery stage for this, don't push your body". I wrapped it.
Within less than half hour, ache & pain. I asked my body what it wanted. It wanted to remain free of bandage and saying that this would be the only test to see if it was necessary. (showing the healing process was quite advanced than normal for this type of injury) I had to follow the body. I took off the wrap and returned to the leg only the Tachyon Knee Snug with extra Tachyon disks.
I woke a few times during the night, to the bathroom, due to the diuretic tea that I began drinking before sleeping. (more on this later) No swelling had occurred. (midnight & 2 am) Upon waking up this morning just before 8am, all looks close to normal leg again! Wow! Everyone had said this would take another few weeks at least. The nurse was already amazed that most of the swelling had been gone when she saw me on Wednesday. (luckily she is amazing & lives up the road. I reached out to her luckily)
There are a few practices that began in the last few days following 27 days of stress due to search for a home to recover, care-giver, counseling, pain-body reactions, PTSD triggers, etc. If felt that immediately upon taking the determined self-care and getting the professional aid that was obviously needed, miracles came pouring~
This incident, is a "blessing in disguise". I have been doing my therapy with Family Constellation and countless other modalities in search of freedom from a disorder disabling my life, PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress Disorder is a mental health problem that can occur after a traumatic event like war, assault, or disaster) I was diagnosed first in 2001, 2005 and again in 2010 by a Therapeutic Touch/Emotional Freedom Technique Therapist. Because of my current life path, therapy was not in my reach, as far as I was aware.
When PTSD is triggered, normal ways of relating to assist in this process are not enough and can actually increase the symptoms of this disorder. I am grateful to a counselor who offered her skills to me on Wednesday. I had hit bottom, literally. Flat on the cement sidewalk in Wenatchee, WA in search of her office. I was immobile and in panic flair up, overwhelm and despair. Another layer of myself revealed this day. Determined to grow, live in victory of childhood incest pain and freedom from this disorder kept me going.
This was a magical day. I went to practice the work of the Red Tara with my nurse. This was my first time to attend their Wednesdays at the Unitarian Church. Grateful beyond words. I will be going back on Wednesdays after counseling, as I will begin the work of Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing. This fairly new to mainstream counseling has been the most Radical Rates of Recovery in decades of therapy with war veterans, etc.
http://www.emdr.com/general-information/what-is-emdr.html
Now remember, this was reflections from Wednesday as well as yesterday.
Yesterday was the first stress free day out of a total of 30 days now, including today.
All the best results was the accumulation of Allowing myself to be in crisis, digging deep, stirring up old stuff, processing and finally getting professional help. The key is the last.
I have been suffering PTSD since I was 12yrs old.(if not at age 9 from the first trauma of incest) For whatever reason, the therapy I did receive (only 8months in 2005), the healing journeys I have taken were not what was needed. Like most coming from the trauma of incest, etc., the victims never speak. I held this to myself without telling one person until it had been over ten years. To this day, my mother is living with the perpetrator and in denial of how this as effected my life. So happy that this incident has brought up all that which I did not realize needed to get worked through.
There has been reactionary incidents with loved ones, friends, family and teachers. I am thankful to finally have relief with professionals trained with this very specific disorder. Thank You Janet, for your professional work. She is well trained in the approach for PTSD and was being in ways that gave support. Work with the victim comes later in the process, to ensure that I live as Victor and not attract more similar incidents. Proper treatment is in order to stop "triggering" and re-traumatizing. This is my message to anyone dealing with a loved one with this temporary set back and amazing teacher of self-love. It takes compassion and unconditional love. (nothing is personal when triggers come on.. victims are out of their body & have no way to rationalize even conscious tools to rise above this disorder)
This is more than a "personality" issue that has been effecting all my relationships, work, profession as a Holistic Health Practitioner myself.. This is the reason why I chose to stop building a practice here in Washington. I knew that clearing my own emotional baggage while struggling to support myself would pay off in the long run. I am learning~ and so blessed to be here NOW. Learning more self-care, and about the psychology of this disorder. In future I hope to be able to help others with this amazing teacher. I AM That I AM~ Being responsible for my actions is priority! Living and creating my reality vs. living from the effects of life situations. Free from this "labeled disorder" I am not IT.. I am LOVE! It is nothing more than my friend and teacher along this path of Radical Transformation. Asking for help never felt so good!
Namaste~
Briefly sharing this information as to get out of my thought loop, so bare withe me.
Yesterday was the first day in which I removed the bandage for nearly the entire day.
All the other days it was only removed for an hour before swelling would occur, unless there was ice on it.
I was recommended by my nurse to keep this procedure while the body trauma could heal.
There was ice on the leg for an hour "tops" from Noon til Ten pm.(10hrs. no swelling)
Before sleeping I began muscle testing whether or not to wrap before sleeping all night. This was
not recommended either, "Way to early in recovery stage for this, don't push your body". I wrapped it.
Within less than half hour, ache & pain. I asked my body what it wanted. It wanted to remain free of bandage and saying that this would be the only test to see if it was necessary. (showing the healing process was quite advanced than normal for this type of injury) I had to follow the body. I took off the wrap and returned to the leg only the Tachyon Knee Snug with extra Tachyon disks.
I woke a few times during the night, to the bathroom, due to the diuretic tea that I began drinking before sleeping. (more on this later) No swelling had occurred. (midnight & 2 am) Upon waking up this morning just before 8am, all looks close to normal leg again! Wow! Everyone had said this would take another few weeks at least. The nurse was already amazed that most of the swelling had been gone when she saw me on Wednesday. (luckily she is amazing & lives up the road. I reached out to her luckily)
There are a few practices that began in the last few days following 27 days of stress due to search for a home to recover, care-giver, counseling, pain-body reactions, PTSD triggers, etc. If felt that immediately upon taking the determined self-care and getting the professional aid that was obviously needed, miracles came pouring~
This incident, is a "blessing in disguise". I have been doing my therapy with Family Constellation and countless other modalities in search of freedom from a disorder disabling my life, PTSD (Post-traumatic Stress Disorder is a mental health problem that can occur after a traumatic event like war, assault, or disaster) I was diagnosed first in 2001, 2005 and again in 2010 by a Therapeutic Touch/Emotional Freedom Technique Therapist. Because of my current life path, therapy was not in my reach, as far as I was aware.
When PTSD is triggered, normal ways of relating to assist in this process are not enough and can actually increase the symptoms of this disorder. I am grateful to a counselor who offered her skills to me on Wednesday. I had hit bottom, literally. Flat on the cement sidewalk in Wenatchee, WA in search of her office. I was immobile and in panic flair up, overwhelm and despair. Another layer of myself revealed this day. Determined to grow, live in victory of childhood incest pain and freedom from this disorder kept me going.
This was a magical day. I went to practice the work of the Red Tara with my nurse. This was my first time to attend their Wednesdays at the Unitarian Church. Grateful beyond words. I will be going back on Wednesdays after counseling, as I will begin the work of Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing. This fairly new to mainstream counseling has been the most Radical Rates of Recovery in decades of therapy with war veterans, etc.
http://www.emdr.com/general-information/what-is-emdr.html
Now remember, this was reflections from Wednesday as well as yesterday.
Yesterday was the first stress free day out of a total of 30 days now, including today.
All the best results was the accumulation of Allowing myself to be in crisis, digging deep, stirring up old stuff, processing and finally getting professional help. The key is the last.
I have been suffering PTSD since I was 12yrs old.(if not at age 9 from the first trauma of incest) For whatever reason, the therapy I did receive (only 8months in 2005), the healing journeys I have taken were not what was needed. Like most coming from the trauma of incest, etc., the victims never speak. I held this to myself without telling one person until it had been over ten years. To this day, my mother is living with the perpetrator and in denial of how this as effected my life. So happy that this incident has brought up all that which I did not realize needed to get worked through.
There has been reactionary incidents with loved ones, friends, family and teachers. I am thankful to finally have relief with professionals trained with this very specific disorder. Thank You Janet, for your professional work. She is well trained in the approach for PTSD and was being in ways that gave support. Work with the victim comes later in the process, to ensure that I live as Victor and not attract more similar incidents. Proper treatment is in order to stop "triggering" and re-traumatizing. This is my message to anyone dealing with a loved one with this temporary set back and amazing teacher of self-love. It takes compassion and unconditional love. (nothing is personal when triggers come on.. victims are out of their body & have no way to rationalize even conscious tools to rise above this disorder)
This is more than a "personality" issue that has been effecting all my relationships, work, profession as a Holistic Health Practitioner myself.. This is the reason why I chose to stop building a practice here in Washington. I knew that clearing my own emotional baggage while struggling to support myself would pay off in the long run. I am learning~ and so blessed to be here NOW. Learning more self-care, and about the psychology of this disorder. In future I hope to be able to help others with this amazing teacher. I AM That I AM~ Being responsible for my actions is priority! Living and creating my reality vs. living from the effects of life situations. Free from this "labeled disorder" I am not IT.. I am LOVE! It is nothing more than my friend and teacher along this path of Radical Transformation. Asking for help never felt so good!
Namaste~
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